Sirius And His Thing
by 2Padfoot00Moony7
Summary: Sirius has got a problem ... And Remus wants to squeeze it. Completely Innocent! RemusXSirius


**Sirius And His Thing. **

Disclamer: No, I don't Harry Potter.

Warning: Mild Slash.

* * *

His life was over.

His life was officially over.

He had had a bad day as it was and now - now he had this problem.

And he knew the exact person to go to.

Sirius walked into the Boys Dorm and flopped down dramatically onto the end of Remus' bed.

He sighed loudly but Remus barely looked up.

He sighed pitifully right in Remus' ear, but still Remus didn't look.

He laid out on in front of Remus and cried, "My life is officially over!"

Remus groaned, used to the acting and knew that it would continue until he gave him. "And why is your life ov -" He suddenly fell silent and went very still, noticing what Sirius was pointing at.

He cleared his throat. "P - Padfoot, is - is th - that what I think it is?" He stammered, gulping as he flexed his fingers. "C - can I squeeze it?"

Sirius jumped back, noticing the feral look in Remus' eyes. "No! Only I'm allowed to do that!"

Remus nodded calmly and looked back down at his book. "Right you are, I shouldn't want to squeeze other peoples big juicy -" And then he flung himself at Sirius.

"LET ME AT IT PADFOOT! YOU CAN'T HIDE IT FROM ME! LET ME AT IT!" He straddled Sirius, screaming at the top of his lungs.

With a swift bark, Sirius turned into Padfoot and ran for dear life.

Remus pounded after him, yelling.

As he jumped the last few stairs James grabbed him by the shoulders. "Moony… what the hell is going on?"

Remus stared at him, then it clicked. "It's Sirius he won't let me squeeze his - his - _oh, what's it called!" _He slapped his palm against his forehead. "His - _thingy_!" He panted heavily and tore out of the grip leaving a very startled James behind.

"Oh."

Racing through the corridors, Remus slowed down having lost sight of Sirius.

He held his nose in the air like a dog would and soon picked up the scent.

He tore down the right passageway and emerged in the entrance hall. He caught a glimpse of black hair flying outside and dove after it.

He almost touched it but at the last moment it twisted from his grasp.

He sighed in exasperation and their chase started again.

"SIRIUS! YOU CAN'T RUN FOR EVER!" He cackled madly and Sirius gave him the finger as they tore over the open grounds.

"I CAN TRY!" They raced down towards the trees but before they entered the shadows, Sirius doubled back and ran towards the lake instead.

"HAHA!" He cried in triumph as he dived into the icy waters.

Remus skidded to a halt, barely missing the edge.

"Not fair!" He pouted. "You know I _hate _swimming!"

Sirius grinned. "I know I do."

Remus smirked and sat down, as a sudden thought sunk in. "I guess I'll just have to wait for you to get cold."

"Fine." Sirius turned into Padfoot and barked happily, splashing around in the lake's shallows.

Remus started absentmindedly humming the Jaw's theme tune, knowing full well that Sirius had watched it a James' one summer.

As if on cue, a giant pink tentacle started snaking it's way across the water and towards Padfoot.

Remus stifled his laughter and watched as Sirius treaded water in tight little circles, totally oblivious.

He muffled his laughter Sirius finally noticed and started paddling desperately back to shore.

The tentacle grabbed him round the middle and lifted him, high out the water and deposited him on Remus' waiting lap.

Much to Padfoot's astonishment.

"Haha! Got yah!" cried Remus, he got out his wand and tied a rope round Sirius' neck before the dog had chance to react and dragged him back up to the Dorm, ignoring all the squeals of 'cute doggy'.

Then he forced Sirius to change back.

He dived on top of him for the second time that day.

"LET ME SQUEEZE IT PADFOOT!" Remus cried enthusiastically, trying to move Sirius' hands away from it. "LET ME!"

"What on earth are you two doing?" Lily asked dryly from the doorway where she stood.

"Remus is trying to squeeze Sirius' - ah - _thing._" James smirked from besides Lily.

Sirius and Remus turned to them. "Can you blame me?! Have you seen how big it is?" Remus asked contentedly.

Lily hid her smile. "Yes Remus, we can see it's big but some people don't like having them squeezed by others."

"And we know how much you love to squeeze them but you _can't!" _James added, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh James! Why can't I? Just this once! Please?" Remus pleaded.

"Shouldn't you be asking me?" Sirius huffed.

"You're right." Remus said sweetly. "May I squeeze it then? Pretty please?"

"No." Sirius stuck his tongue out.

"Hmm." Remus sat back thoughtfully, trying to think of a plan.

A plan that would work.

James and Lily caught each other's eye and left on mutual agreement, leaving the two puppies to sort out their differences.

"Please? Just _one _little squeeze?" asked Remus with puppy dog eyes.

Sirius shook his head resolutely, "No you cannot _squeeze _it!"

"I normally do, why not now?" Remus asked crossly, folding his arms.

"Because I want a go, I know how much pleasure you get out of it so I'm having a go just this once!" replied Sirius

Remus stuck his bottom lip out. "Meanie."

"Squeeze your own!" Sirius cried, rolling his eyes.

"You _know _I haven't got any!"

"So?"

"So let me squeeze yours! Just - just this once?" Remus put on his little angel face, a plan starting to form in his mind.

"No."

Remus sat and sulked, his mind whirring as he formulated 'The Plan'.

Finally he bent down and looked Sirius in the eyes. "Please?" He whispered sadly. "I really _really _want to!"

"I know you do but -" Remus kissed him quickly, cutting off his speech.

Successfully distracting Sirius.

Hands roamed and Remus' started twitching towards _it._

Hands tangled, lips crashing, tongues twisting.

Remus opened an eye and saw _it, _a mere centimetre away from his itching fingers.

Excitement coursed through him and his fingers grabbed it.

Sirius gasped and Remus seized his chance.

He squeezed it.

A huge smile rapidly appeared on his face and with a satisfying pop, yellow gunk flew through the air.

"Remus!" Sirius gasped.

Remus smirked. "You should know by now Sirius, that _I _squeeze the spots round here!"

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Hehe. Love it or hate it?

Review xD


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